Guess what day it is, guess what day it is? Not Sunday, unfortunately; we’re a little behind because one-half of the Hockeyfact team spent the weekend in Vegas for Frozen Fury, preseason games hosted by the LA Kings. It was just as ridiculous and magical as you think.
So it’s not Sunday, and we’re late, but it is Hump Day! (Are you envisioning camels? Good). And it’s October, finally, thank god. Did you guys watch the Hawks raise their banner last night? Did you all cry all the tears?
In this episode of Hockeyfact, you will find:
- Derek Stepan missed training camp; Zoe was very sad. Step and the Powers That Be have since come to a “deal,” which is more of a steal, but Step is back in New York. Everyone be excited!
- Dan Cleary did not sign with the Flyers. LOL.
- Last season, Bobby Ryan picked up a “baffling digestive illness” in the Far East. Obviously, Bobby Ryan is pregnant, and he was traded because the baby obviously is not Getzlaf’s, and that’s hella awkward, yeah? Someone make Bobby Ryan a baby blanket, stat.
- Rich Peverley is also ill, though we don’t think he’s pregnant. The title of this article is the best and the worst.
- The two-year anniversary of the Lokomotiv Yaroslavl accident recently passed.
- Maria Kirilenko made Alex Ovechkin a valentine, not that it’s Valentine’s Day, but because they’ve been together for two years.
- David Booth is fat, Dustin Byfuglien looks “in better condition”?
- Patrick Kane stickhandling. Full stop.
- Patrick Roy being magic in Colorado. Apparently, he’s fixing Erik Johnson and Paul Stastny.
- Dallas Eakins has lots of feelings about Edmonton. This is what he said after the Oilers lost to the Stars in preseason, a miserably 4-0. But we mostly talk about how he’s banned donuts. No news on the status of Hall and Eberle’s ice cream dates.
- Ryan Kesler has a potty mouth. Apparently, when icehot_13 isn’t making him cry, he’s cursing. Who knew.
- And Torts threatening his team about twitter. Dear Lord.
Hockey Book Club:
Recs from Carol
Recs from Erin
Recs from Zoe
Also, I don’t know if you guys are going to be able to handle this, because I definitely can’t, but Hockeyfact interviewed ice_hot_13, in which we talk about fandom, her cult, and how she writes the best soap operas in the entire goddamn world. It is all the glory.
AND AND AND… finally… the entries submitted to the 60-second challenge. Guys, you are fabulous and amazing, and we are so happy with you, so proud of you, so much more educated about all the teams, and so damn amused.
Thanks to Charlie (who is optimistic about the Preds), to Bestliar (who is not optimistic about the Preds), Savanna (what a Boston girl!), Susan (the Hawks, ’nuff said), Carol (who glorifies in how bad the Avs were last season, says how good they could be, and talks about Patrick Roy and Erik Johnson), Kylie (she has a fuck-awesome accent, she tells us all about the Kings!), Ceej (and more Kings! LISTEN TO HOW FAST SHE TALKS), more Carol (and the Blue Jackets!), Not-Our-Abbie (and the Flyers–fucking Claude and his fucking finger, and Danny Briere to the Habs, sadness forever), merisunshine36 (in English and en francais! All the sarcasm, love love love), and finally Bestliar (once more, with the Wild, though mostly, maybe, Ryan Suter).
(Also please note: These challenges were originally recorded several days ago, so please forgive any information they contain that isn’t true anymore or any jokes that current events have now made questionable.)
Everyone say thanks to Erin for her awesome commentary from a car in front of a bar on karaoke night.
In case you don’t remember, it’s OCTOBER. Go watch some hockey, then tell us about it. Remember, we’re always looking for contributions of all sorts. Let us know what you want to see, what you want us to talk about, what you want to talk about with us.